Sat 30th July – 2nd XI v Addiscombe

DULWICH 103-1(30.2) beat ADDISCOMBE 100 (45.4) by 9 wickets

Scorecard

On a fairly overcast day at the DSG, Dulwich welcome strugglers, Addiscombe. A game that looked on paper to be a good chance for the Doggies to extend their lead at the top of the table, but, rest assured, it was an anything but a boring affair…

The pantomime of James Hirst

Act 1, Scene 1- business as usual for a clenched buttocked Quaife

The first step forward came at the toss. Matt Quaife (who just the evening prior was laid up in bed with a poorly tummy), in as skipper to try and extend his long unbeaten run (played 2, won 2 and never allowing a side to get above 120), won the toss and invited Addiscombe to bat.

Act 1, Scene 2 – a tale of two Sams, and the villain emerges…

Opening the bowling with the hugely promising pair of Sams, Dulwich made a great start. Keeping the visitors to around 1.5 runs per over, as the One Man Chaos Engine continually reminded them. The first wicket fell to an excellent piece of bowling and a very good catch behind the wicket from Boom Boom Bailey (see earlier match reports for details of explosive hitting power). Moments later, the Chaos Engine was back to offer Addiscome opener, Babe Ruth, some advice regarding which sport we were playing. Some needle that it seems proved useful, as the opener was dismissed just a few balls after. This is one of three wickets taken by Sameer in what was an excellent spell of bowling admired from a far as Bridgland opted to “umpire on the one” (credit M. Balch) to get the best view of a bowler threatening to cut his career short. When the opening bowlers had come off, Addiscombe had managed to get to 25-3. Both openers had bowled very well and the spell would have been more prolific if the Raj-procaimed pantomime villain, James Hirst hadn’t dropped a tricky chance at slip off Sameer.

Act 1, Scene 3 – the master spins his web, and villan casts his spell

Following a brief and edge of your seat spell from the skipper, that included a wicket, it was then over to the spin twins – Hook Hirst and Patrick George. Both settled in quickly and bowled very well. George taking the role of controlling spinner, whilst wickets were being wheedled out at the other end with Gaston Hirst using all of his experience and full bag o’tricks to get himself 4 more. George was very unlucky to only get one wicket, albeit an LBW that was so out that the batsman walked. There was, of course, some very careful figure protection from the evil Hirst, as he ensured a returning Sameer wasn’t afforded his first ever 5 wicket haul by dropping a second catch at second slip. A drop that saw his summarily dismissed to third man by Tulsyarni (regardless of how Jafar Hirst may claim it was his decision to move). This drop of course, allowed the Wicked Witch Hirst to nab the final wicket. 

All of this left Addiscombe being bowled out for 100. A very good bowling effort.

Act 2, Scene 1 – Experience paves the way but the villain has his say

To attack this modest total, Dulwich sent out the formidable pair of Tulsearny and Morris. With a combined experience of 87 years, and more aerial options than the US airforce, surely this would be over in a flash. Well, it wasn’t. Some cunning bowling from the opposition, who opted to go spin at both ends in to the pads of the left handed, Tul-c-ar-knee, runs were hard to come by. The occasional boundary came, but with very little strike rotation in between. Not satisfied however with unjustly robbing our young opening bowler of 5 wickets, Bill Sykes Hirst struck again. His loud brogue so prevalent from the boundary that the agitated Toll-c had to call for quiet mid over. 

Frustration soon took its toll (mainly at the villain) with Tulsiani out caught with the score on 42. This brought Zaki to the crease, and he set about things in an all together different fashion, hoisting his first over from the off-spinner for 16. This then lead to a fairly quiet period of play as the two (now with combined experience somewhere in the region of between 70 and 90 years tbc) set about the chase in a reasonably stress free manner. 

Act 2, Scene 2 – John gets an early Birthday present and the villian’s day is done 

The only real moment of note, came with 6 runs required. A frustrated leg spinner opted to challenge the Mighty Morris, on his Birthday, by telling him to “get on with it”. Morris responded by saying “float the ball out there and I will”. Mid run-up, the spinner said he would do just that, hoping to force a mistake from the unflappable Morris. Would the spinner double bluff? Would Morris take him on? Would he end up trudging off to much laughter after being out thought by the cunning leg spinner? 

He did indeed toss it up. Morris did indeed take it on. The ball is yet to be found. A mighty 6 to win the game. 1-0 Morris.

Dulwich won by 9 wickets. Special praise goes to all of the bowlers, particularly Sameer for his excellent opening spell and The Evil Step Sister Hirst, for conducting the proceedings from wherever on the pitch he was relegated to and for a very good spell of spin bowling. Cue a few drinks at the bar, which gave The Chaos Engine a chance for a packet of smokes, and 1st XI pro SKINNER!! a chance to dust off his wallet and buy us all a thimble of beer to share. I’ve seen bigger jugs on our opening batsmen than that!

Next-up, Beddington. 

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