Match Reports
View the latest reports for the Midweek Eleven:
MARK KELLY'S XI V TONY CABLE'S XI on Wednesday 31st May 2006
This fixture, arranged in haste to replace the President's XI v. Dulwich (a fixture cancelled by the President himself for a number of dubious and not fully explained reasons) was a 40 over a side match between two 'scratch' Dulwich teams with a wide range of abilities. To cite two examples, Mark Kenlock bowled a fine spell of left arm allsorts which reminded us all of his days on the staff with Surrey County Cricket Club and John Smith played yet another one of his infamous cross-batteds "wafts" which reminded us all just why is the seventy seventh worst
player in this club. Stuart Harmer, John Smith and
the Bamboozler vied with each other for the award of cafeteria bowler of the match, and it must be said that on this occasion it was a pretty close run thing.
The Bamboozler opened his challenge for this award by bowling a series of double and triple bounce balls, one of which reduced the seasoned Blackford to an absolute Hamlet, Prince of Denmark of indecision. In desperation, Blackers drove a stinging caught and bowled chance which our intrepid hero clung on to with great fortitude only to find the square leg umpire signalling no ball. In an act of great chivalry (not unlike the British surrender of Singapore to the Axis powers in the last war) the Bamboozler invited Blackers to resume his innings. The invitation was accepted and what might have been a match turning spell was reduced to yet another none-for-plenty by this unpredictable but charismatic talisman bowler.
The rest of the innings passed off without incident: only John Howard's Tootal bri nylon grey socks and his bell-bottomed flannels (apparently donated by the Showaddy waddy Supporters Club) gave some cause for mirth. Cable's XI batted with commendable gusto throughout their innings with seasoned players being ably assisted by the fleet footed youth of Tony Ebert, Philip Scutt and Jamie Hall. Opening the batting Hough, Kenlock and Willis put Kelly's XI in a commanding position and the game seemed set for an easy victory for the batting side. John Smith was put on to bowl: a clear sign that skipper Cable had finally acknowledged the overall superiority of the Kelly XI. It is therefore, with some chagrin, that our correspondent has to report that it was in this match that Smith managed to take his 1 wicket for the season. Space limitation has meant that your correspondent is unable to go into detail about this incident.
So to the climax of the match: with Skipper Kelly facing the redoubtable Blackford and with 2 needed for victory off the last ball of the match a lofted on-drive was essayed. All seemed set fair for the batting side: but lo! emerging from the hinterland of John Smith's back garden, whom should appear: none other than the only life member of the Crown & Greyhound Appreciation Society and Dulwich Village's most celebrated green grocer to cling on to a steepling catch and nirvana for the fielding side.
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