DULWICH 142-2 (40.1) beat REIGATE PRIORY 141 (43.2) by 8 wickets
After last week's edgy nail biting win at Banstead, a game loaded with more plot twists than Jack Bauer gatecrashing Game of Thrones, I can report that this week Dulwich beat Reigate in an dourly efficient manner - with the highlight being the pre-game breakfast obtained from a garage somewhere around the Mitcham area.
To spice up what is destined to be a somewhat uneventful report, I have ingested a potent cocktail of LSD, absinthe and peyote and read the entire work of Hunter S Thompson as a literary sharpner. Alas, the overwhelmingly functional nature of our victory crushed such frivolity, so the facts are as follows:
1. Prasanna was only 15 mins late, despite being driven to the ground by Julian.
2. Matt won the toss and batted.
3. Prasanna bowled the Reigate opener with the first ball of the game – a full bunger, which bamboozled everyone used to his normal first ball half-tracker.
4. Swainey went for 8 off his first over, then conceded 1 from the next 6. Cricket as a whole died and had to be resuscitated around this time. He did however remove the handy-looking Reigate no 3 with a leg stump full bunger, chipped straight to Chris Stone at square leg.
5. Reigate continued to block everything we bowled at them, with weapons-grade defensive play.
6. We had drinks. They were standard, watery, and unremarkable.
7. After drinks, Reigate accelerated to 3 an over.
8. Will Burgass started bowling. Reigate continued to defend. Jon Stone Snr. put his lens cap back on.
9. Wickets started to fall. The run rate stuttered.
10. Dan Peters held a splendid boundary catch, interrupting a jolly interesting looking chat with returning Jon Stone Snr.
11. Cricketing Armageddon people!!!!! Ben Lester was smacked for few sixes by the dangerous slogger Matt Van Staden. However the following over, Will dismissed him with skipper Dixon honouring the late Paul Daniels with some blockbuster catching magic on the long off boundary. This was made all the sweeter as Ben had used the classic Andrew Flintoff / Tino Best sport psychology and had invited him to 'make his day' and try and hit Will for six number 3.
12. Normal service then resumed as Reigate consolidated and blocked some more balls.
13. Remarkably Dixon then snaffled a second catch in a single game for the first time as an adult cricketer, although admittedly he did have to argue with the umpire to ensure it was given.
14. Lets cut it short there. Reigate were 141 all out from 44 overs. It's all you need to know.
15. Tea. Homemade and delicious enough to persuade Swainey to brake his carb-free pre-holiday diet (in preparation for a Las Vegas pool party shindig) and gorge on cheese sandwiches, Breakaways and a swiss roll. Expect Calvin Harris to give a shout out to the tubby British dude, dancing in a smock in precisely 5 weeks' time.
16. We then batted. Dan Peters and Chris Stone opened.
17. Dan and Chris were then both out cheaply.
18. New batsmen Guy Woodgate and Jonny Stone followed the stoic Reigate 3-an-over mantra and slowly broke the hearts of fielders and watching team mates alike.
19. Boundary chat hit an all time Bridget Jones-esque low as Ben Lester discussed in detail how he had recently proposed to his now-fiancée and described "The Ring".
20. Guy and Jonny finally finished ambling to 142 with 4 overs to spare. Guy finished unbeaten on 68 and Jonny 29. Joking aside, they both batted incredibly well, showing utter composure and giving no chances – that would have been too exciting, I suppose.
19. The game had ended. We all shook hands. Boundary flags were collected and the crowd went wild.
20. In the absence of almost any action and still needing to raise money for the Blue Bails charity, Dan introduced on-the-spot random fines we raised another £25.
This victory keeps Dulwich 20 points clear of rivals Spencer in what is increasingly looking a two horse race. The team hasn't lost since the beginning of June and we have built good momentum at the business end of the season, with great collective spirit and everyone contributing. Next up is Woking and Horsell at home, a must win game with tough opponents Wimbledon and Spencer in the final two fixtures.